There will come a time
when you won’t think twice
to give your life
for something you care deeply about

But there will always be a man
doing everything he can
to take it from your hands
no doubt

It’s up to you
to keep yourself true
to take yourself through
and to get back up when you hit the ground

Because I’ll be damned
if I let a man stand
knowing that I could have, should have
taken him down

Once upon a time, some silly scientists were talking to God.  They said, “Ha!  We, in our nifty little laboratory here, have proven that you don’t exist.  We can create life just as easily as you did.

“O RLY?” said God.

“Yes, we’ve discovered that all we have to do is mix some [Dirt], some [Salt Water] and add [Electricity].”

“lol” said God.

“And once we show the world that we can make life, there will be no need for you any longer!  So stick that in your holy pipe and smoke it!”

God pondered for a moment, then said, “brb.”  He returned a moment later with his own [Dirt], [Salt Water] and [Electricity].  “liek okay,” He said.  “we’re liek gonna have a contest.  each of us will liek make some life using ur own materialz.  kk?  whoevr does it best winz and gets 2 maek the other person not exist!!!1″

The scientist quickly agreed, confident that they could make life better than God could.  “kk liek u git 2 go 1st,” said God.  As the first scientist reached for the [Dirt], God shot him in the face with a lightning bolt, critting him for 1278512 nature damage.

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!” said the scientist.

The other scientists looked at God with anger in their faces.  “OMG!  Why did you shoot him in the face?!”  They demanded.

“dude, he was liek cheating.” said God.

“What?!  How was he cheating?!”

“he was gonna use my [Dirt].  i liek made that [Dirt]. if ur gonna make ur own life, then u need 2 make ur own [Dirt].”

The scientists cried and ran home to their mommies while God ROFL’d.

The End.

Ugg wiped the beads of sweat from his brow. Taking a step back, he admired his work. He had just finished tending to his praple tree.

It was a daily chore; he would get up extra early every morning and tend to the praple tree. He would hydrate it with water collected in jugs from the nearby river, he would fertilize the soil at its base with animal feces, and he would prune it with a knife he had fashioned by chipping at a rock until its edges were jagged and sharp. The praple tree grew strong, and as a reward to Ugg for his labor, it would produce the juiciest, tastiest fruit in all the land.

(more…)