On Tuesday in English class we broke up into groups of four to work on an assignment based on a non-fiction piece by Ted Conover. Lucky me, I got grouped with three people who were much more interested in talking about partying than doing the assignment. As they chatted, I wrote down what they were saying on a piece of paper I had handy:
“Dude, I love Jack Daniel’s, it’s my drink of choice!”
“I prefer vodka. Some cheap-ass hobo vodka. It takes me back to the old days. Last night I was just pounding that shit, like twelve shots. It gets me fucked up!”
“Yeah, but when you get that expensive stuff, one shot… and it’s like an orgasm.”
“Last night there was this fucked up party. We were all trying to see who could get wasted the fucking fastest! Then the party got broken up and there were three after parties. I was smoking up at one of ‘em. It was so classy.”
They stopped talking for a bit and just stared off into space. Just when it started to get awkward, the girl next to me suddenly declared that she was going to get a drink from the vending machines. She dug around in her wallet and discovered that she was twenty cents short. “How are ya gonna get a drink with no fuckin’ money?” she asked herself. I produced two nickels and a dime from my pocket and dropped it onto her desk. Delighted, she began ranting about what a saint I was and that she was going to add me to her Myspace friends list.
Wonderful.
The other girl in the group, upon hearing the word, “Myspace,” started screaming about how “Myspace is a pandemic worse than AIDS, ripping out the souls of all who sign up.”
After some prodding from the other guy in our group, she uneasily admitted to owning a Myspace account herself.
The teacher announced a fifteen minute break. The three kids stood and headed for the door, their conversation springing back into the realm of college partying.
“Dude, last night I was mixing drinks and I put too much hard liquor in it… I was so dead this morning… It was so fuckin’ awesome…”