Michael: Stupid girl games.

Brad: yeah, guys would never play them if it wasn’t for the sweet prizes awaiting the winners

The random girls of Myspace strike again.  Here’s a message I received last night:

—————– Original Message —————–
From: Divina
Date: Sep 19, 2006 4:28 AM

i wanna suck ur cock!!!!!!!!!!

And here’s my reply:

—————– Original Message —————–
From: Michael Aranda
Date: Sep 19, 2006 5:43 AM

Unfortunately, I lost it in a terrible accident
last February while we were filming
with live tigers for a music video.
:’(

If you haven’t already, you should click on the link to Divina’s profile.  She’s terribly attractive.  Or is it a he?  I can’t really tell.

Allow me to set the stage:

Kate received a message on Myspace from a creepy guy who wanted to chat with her.  I told her to, rather than give him her screen name, give him one of my screen names, brwneyeqtpie77.  So she did.  I pretended that I was a little high school girl, and had this conversation with him:

The  Israeli  DJ (10:00:06 PM): Hey
The  Israeli  DJ (10:00:13 PM): Sup?
BrWnEyEdQtPiE77 (10:00:18 PM): hey!!
The  Israeli  DJ (10:00:31 PM): Sup?
BrWnEyEdQtPiE77 (10:00:52 PM): nothing im just sitting here on myspace like i do all the time lol
The  Israeli  DJ (10:02:59 PM): Cool
The  Israeli  DJ (10:03:05 PM): U wanna talk on the phone
BrWnEyEdQtPiE77 (10:03:09 PM): wut r u doing??
The  Israeli  DJ (10:03:10 PM): This is boring
The  Israeli  DJ (10:03:16 PM): Lol
The  Israeli  DJ (10:03:23 PM): Driving
BrWnEyEdQtPiE77 (10:03:33 PM): u r driving?!?!
The  Israeli  DJ (10:04:16 PM): Yeah
The  Israeli  DJ (10:04:21 PM): I swear
The  Israeli  DJ (10:04:25 PM): What’s ur number so it will be easier
The  Israeli  DJ (10:04:30 PM): ?
BrWnEyEdQtPiE77 (10:04:37 PM): how can u drive and chat at the same time what if you crash??!
The  Israeli  DJ (10:04:47 PM): Sidekick
BrWnEyEdQtPiE77 (10:04:53 PM): oh!!
The  Israeli  DJ (10:04:59 PM): Yeah
BrWnEyEdQtPiE77 (10:05:05 PM): i dont have my cell phone with me right now :(
The  Israeli  DJ (10:05:21 PM): Call my celly 818 470 9992
The  Israeli  DJ (10:05:26 PM): House phone
BrWnEyEdQtPiE77 (10:05:51 PM): my dad does like it when i use the phone after 9
The  Israeli  DJ (10:06:28 PM): What
The  Israeli  DJ (10:06:34 PM): ?
The  Israeli  DJ (10:06:43 PM): Ok we’ll ill talk to u in a lil bit
BrWnEyEdQtPiE77 (10:06:52 PM): kk
The  Israeli  DJ (10:06:59 PM): Peace
The  Israeli  DJ (10:10:57 PM): Ok
The  Israeli  DJ (10:11:01 PM): Back
The  Israeli  DJ (10:11:06 PM): So what’s up
The  Israeli  DJ (10:11:11 PM): ?
The  Israeli  DJ (10:11:16 PM): Horny ass
BrWnEyEdQtPiE77 (10:12:22 PM): r u still driving?!
The  Israeli  DJ (10:12:29 PM): Nope
The  Israeli  DJ (10:12:40 PM): Got to my brothers house
BrWnEyEdQtPiE77 (10:12:55 PM): wheres ur brother live??
The  Israeli  DJ (10:14:45 PM): Burbank and luis
The  Israeli  DJ (10:14:49 PM): Where do u live
BrWnEyEdQtPiE77 (10:14:58 PM): simi valley
BrWnEyEdQtPiE77 (10:15:03 PM): 2 bad ur so far away
BrWnEyEdQtPiE77 (10:15:04 PM): :(
The  Israeli  DJ (10:15:39 PM): Why
The  Israeli  DJ (10:15:47 PM): I drive lol
BrWnEyEdQtPiE77 (10:16:15 PM): well maybe if u want to get sum 2nite we can meet up
BrWnEyEdQtPiE77 (10:16:24 PM): i can sneak out i do it all the time
The  Israeli  DJ (10:17:23 PM): where at?
The  Israeli  DJ (10:17:29 PM): What’s the adress
The  Israeli  DJ (10:17:36 PM): But that’s 2 easy
The  Israeli  DJ (10:17:44 PM): I don’t do hook ups that fast
BrWnEyEdQtPiE77 (10:19:08 PM): :(
BrWnEyEdQtPiE77 (10:19:14 PM): maybe we could just hang out then
The  Israeli  DJ (10:21:23 PM): How do I know that ur not a serial killer lol
BrWnEyEdQtPiE77 (10:21:25 PM): theres a park down the street from me on rudolph st.
The  Israeli  DJ (10:21:38 PM): We’ll I got stufff on me
BrWnEyEdQtPiE77 (10:21:38 PM): lol fine then we can just chat lol
The  Israeli  DJ (10:22:53 PM): I’m armed so if I see any guns out on me The  Israeli  DJ (10:23:04 PM): I’m ready lol
BrWnEyEdQtPiE77 (10:23:10 PM): u have a gun???
BrWnEyEdQtPiE77 (10:23:27 PM): thats really scary!!!
The  Israeli  DJ (10:23:32 PM): Maybe I can’t tell u what I have
BrWnEyEdQtPiE77 (10:24:10 PM): im not going 2 meet u if u have guns!!!
BrWnEyEdQtPiE77 (10:24:17 PM): u might kidnap me!!
The  Israeli  DJ (10:25:52 PM): I got a lisence for it
The  Israeli  DJ (10:26:06 PM): Don’t worry
The  Israeli  DJ (10:26:15 PM): I’m not gonna do shit like that
The  Israeli  DJ (10:26:33 PM): When u look at someones myspace u can see who the people are
BrWnEyEdQtPiE77 (10:26:47 PM): how do u get a licence 4 that??
BrWnEyEdQtPiE77 (10:29:51 PM): hellooo??
The  Israeli  DJ (10:29:57 PM): U go take classes and u have to have  a clean record
The  Israeli  DJ (10:30:04 PM): And u get it
BrWnEyEdQtPiE77 (10:30:45 PM): its just for protection??
BrWnEyEdQtPiE77 (10:32:59 PM): how come ur not talking??
BrWnEyEdQtPiE77 (10:36:02 PM): well im going to go out with some friends now
BrWnEyEdQtPiE77 (10:36:13 PM): maybe we can chat some other time
BrWnEyEdQtPiE77 (10:36:17 PM): if u actually talk!!!
BrWnEyEdQtPiE77 (10:36:33 PM): byeeee!!  :D
The  Israeli  DJ (10:41:47 PM): Sorry I was away
The  Israeli  DJ (10:42:02 PM): Well call me whenever u wanna have some real fun

Stefan (12:21:08 AM): on craigs list
Stefan (12:21:18 AM): there was biker guy with one of those long grey beards and black leather
Stefan (12:21:31 AM): and he wanted to suck guys dicks with no strings attached
Stefan (12:21:38 AM): he said he is very talented
Michael (12:21:45 AM): Did you reply?
Stefan (12:21:56 AM): i think the beard would feel weird
Stefan (12:22:00 AM): so i didnt

Stefan:
i took the fastest crap ive ever taken
like
not time wise
but speed wise
that thing was a gazelle

Michael:
…

Stefan:
well
you probably dont want to know the rest then

Michael:
A gazelle came out of your butt… how can there be more?